You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
