He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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