she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
