I want to have your abortion
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
