At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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