He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
