she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize