So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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