i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
