Don't make out with my wife yet
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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