smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
