i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
