Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

Let's get naked and see who's stronger.

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(917): View more from New York City

new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms

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(480): View more from Arizona

So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

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(410): View more from Maryland

it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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(541): View more from Oregon

I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.

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(206): View more from Washington

He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it

(253): View more from Washington

The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence

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