What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
