Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
