i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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