This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
