i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
