u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize