you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize