Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
