Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
