As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
