just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
