Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
