We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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