I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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