I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize