brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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