I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
