So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
