No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
