You can't motorboat a personality
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
