i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
