did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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