Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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