I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
