im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
