i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
