I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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