please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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