its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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