dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
