STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
