Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize