Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
