nut hugger
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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