He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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