Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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