I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
