I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I puked a lego.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
