Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
