I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
