we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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