not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
me + whiskey = a bad person
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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