She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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