Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
