is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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