he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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