I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Mom said you looked used
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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