go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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